The credit crunch bit me on the arse

I've had an awful day today: my mum rang and told me that I'd been sent threatening letters from the bank telling me to return my cards OR ELSE, and all sorts of other sphinkter-clenching threats about bankruptcy etc, so I cried, panicked and then took a deep breath and called the Collectin agency, where I had the bad luck to be put through to a guy who not only wasn't very nice but, in fact, didn't remotely give a shit. So, under the pretence of calling the Visa company he disconnected me, promising to call me back. So I waited...he didnt call me back (this appears to be a habbit of the Royal Bank of Scotland, I really should have seen it coming) and I rang again and was finally told that the person I'd spoken to had gone out for lunch, or, actually 'he seemed to have finished for the day.' Normally I would have been raging but I was using up all available emotion for shitting myself and entertaining thoughts of immanent bankruptcy and/or jail time. Anyway, to cut a long and not very interesting story short, I lucked out on my second try & my 'concern' was dealt with by the head of the call centre, customer service (haha) or whatever the hell that place is and he was very nice and helpful and we eventually came to an arrangement whereby I'm going to pay 290GBP a month back to clear all the outstanding debt. Actually it's going to be a bit of a stretch to pay all that a week on Monday like I swore I would, but I think I will just (and I mean that in all seriousness, I won't have a Euro to spare) be able to make it. My parents have been great as well, the guy from the call centre called my mum and she's deposited 100 quid in the account which at least appeased them temporarily, and my dad gave me a call and words of encouragement. My dad's not great at expressing emotion but he was really great and told me how a family friend told him that his (adult) kids are in the same position and my dad kept telling me not to feel bad cos it happens to everyone and it doesn't mean I'm a big fuck-up, which to be honest really made me feel better. I still worry about letting my parents down, I think, and having that support and reassuring me that they don't think I'm an eejit means more to be than anything, it truly does.

So, now that's I have a payment plan set up I feel so much better. I would much rather have that money being paid off even though I will be only just able to survive. I have also made a decision: I'm going to get a Real Job. I'm about to start looking into Graduate Training schemes and things and hopefully start one next year. Better to be in a shite job that pays than 'being arty' and bumming around doing crap-paying jobs just because it lets you live in a sunny place. So, at the risk of becoming an office drone, I'm going to start actively pursuing actual, boring, mundane-same-as-everyone-else work. Bad times, but also the time to start taking responsibility, I think. It's been a hard and, if I'm honest, terrifying lesson but one that I guess I had to really learn. On that slightly depressing note I'm away for a cup of tea, and leftover noodles. I came so close to having a cigarette today, after alost 18 months fag-free, but - irony of ironies! - I couldn't afford to buy a pack!!